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crazyemosoxrock
So, here's some good news. MY BABY BLANKET IS FINISHED! This is very exciting. First thing I've ever finished since I have a tendency to start and stop these projects. I'm thrilled. It took me about a week and I'm pleased with it. :]

Unfortunately, I have two extra spools of that yarn left as opposed to the one I need for my new project. Going to Michael's is always a hassle, since it's a long trip from Brooklyn to Queens. I need to plan these things better. But, at the very least, IT'S DONE, and I've already started on my next blanket! It's only the first row, so it's too soon to tell if I like it or not, but we'll see.

I have some writing today. I'd really like to get started in time for the holiday. I have some ideas on what I plan to do, but it requires quite a bit of reading. And not fanfic reading. Serious reading of a great classic. I've probably bitten off more than I can chew. I've got plenty of reading ahead of me. :\

Tomorrow is the funeral of a family member/friend. I plan on going but making my appearance very brief and hightailing it out of there as soon as I can. Death is a terribly sad thing and attending these services/viewing/funerals really drains me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. The last one I attended was my father-in-law's from 1PM to 12AM that night, and I remember just being so numb and tired by the end of the day I could hardly do much else but hug my son tightly and be grateful to be with him. I don't handle this stuff well.

I'm sitting here, snacking on some yummy chocolate chips with water. My favorite! <3 Gonna do a bit more crocheting so I can try and get some sleep later on, maybe?

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Current Mood: accomplished, sad, productive

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so i've spent the better part of the last few hours untangling yarn... quite fun. :/

but i did get a chance to stop by the craftstore! i picked up a single spool of yarn, which was really quite stupid of me, of what i plan to use for my zack blanket!! i'm reallyyy excited. it's a couple of shades of varying blues. i think it's rather pretty. and appropriate. and i'm almost done with my baby blanket. should be done by tomorrow, which means i can get started soon enough. :) squee.

just a bit of a rant.

Current Location: bed
Current Mood: anxious anxious

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What is your favorite holiday-specific candy or treat?


Candy Corn.
Marshmallow Eggs.
Candy Canes.

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Stabbity, indeed.

It's kind of sad that it's taken me two years to decide that I finally wanted to lose my baby weight.  I kept putting it off, because in my mind, it wasn't important.  I kept justifying my laziness and overeating by saying, "I've already got my husband, I spend all day at home anyway, I never see anyone, so why do I care what I look like?"

When you spend all day home being mom, it's hard to find the time to do the simple things.  Sitting down and relaxing is a luxury.  During my sons only nap of the day, I'm faced with quite a few choices.  Do I eat something?  Watch TV?  Play video games?  Surf the web?  Exercise? 

Usually, I chose a combination of eating something yummy (and entirely unhealthy) and doing everything but exercise.  When just sitting down and taking a deep breath is a rare opportunity, why would I waste it exercising?

But now, two years later, I'm feeling just plain bad about myself.  My pants size is more than doubled.  And physically and mentally, I just feel bad.  I"m tired and drained, both mentally and physically.  My son loves the water, and I'd love to take him to the pool quite a few times this summer.  If only I could find a bathing suit that fits.

Finally, somethings clicked in my head thats reminded me that I'm still young, and there's no need for me to give up on myself just yet.  So, I'm finally starting my diet.

It isn't as bad as I thought.  I woke up today getting just as much sleep as I normally do, which really isn't a lot, but I feel more energized and positive.  However, getting more sleep is something on my list of things to change in my lifestyle.  I do crave things, but I know that I can't have them, and that's okay.  Once I work on eating healthier, I can indulge myself in the things I like, just in smaller portions.  For right now, I'd like to hold out, so I don't give up too quickly.

They say you have to track your progress somewhere- you lose more weight if you do- so I'm going to start here.  Not a lot of people will see this anyway, except for the few LiveJournal friends I have, but that doesn't bother me.  Besides, perhaps some of you can serve as my motivation, I don't know.

So, my starting weight, embarrassingly enough, is 184 pounds. 

A healthy weight for someone of my height, and therefore my target weight, is 135 pounds.

Therefore, I have 50 pounds to lose.  As a goal, I'd like to be able to fit into a bathing suit without looking terribly disgusting by July, hopefully losing at least 15 pounds by then.  Impossible?  Probably, but I'm definitely going to try my best.  =)

I think Crisis Core is the only thing keeping me sane, since my husband bought it for me this weekend.  Zack is the cutest thing ever.  I might end up reviewing me.  As great as the game is and as much as I love it, some of it is just so darn silly that I just have  to make sarcastic comments about it.

As for today, I plan on going for a long walk and doing some shopping to change the things I'll find in my kitchen.  Drinking all this water certainly has me heading for the bathroom far too often!

Current Mood: stabbity

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Do you think controversial interrogation techniques should be used to get key intelligence from alleged terrorists? When, if at all, could it go too far?
Being someone who lives in New York and was able to witness it first hand, the memory of 9-11 never leaves you.  No matter how fast the world moves on and goes along with its life, I personally am still afraid.  So many people were united in that moment, all across the country, but as time passes, people feel secure.  They forget.

The events hit so close to home for me, especially because a lot of potential members of my family were so close to death.  God blessed my family by preventing them all from getting hurt, by one weird circumstance or another.  My cousin, who worked in a department in which every one of her co-workers died, was ill and took a sick day.  My cousin, who was going to head to the WTC that day, decided that he just didn't want to go to work.  My aunt, who has a serious case of asthma, was able to find a truck to hide in when the buildings fell.  My cousin, who was probably six at the time, was in a daycare just down the street (her story was on PBS or WLIW, maybe you've seen it).

But what if we had not been so fortunate?  I have great compassion and empathy for those whose families were not as lucky as mine.  It's because of this that I feel so much anger and hatred towards terrorists.  Who cares how you get the information?  As long as it saves American lives, that's all that matters to me.

Would you have dunked some people underwater for 20 seconds to save all the lives that were lost that day?  I certinaly would have.  I would have done it a hundred times.  A thousand times.  A million times.  Call me cruel, call me politcally incorrect, call me whatever you want, I don't care.  That is not torture. 

Real torture is living your life in fear.  Real torture is having the world swept from under you and your innocence taken away.  As a child life is so carefree, and then something happens like that, and your don't look at the world as the safe haven it used to be.  Real torture is raising a child in a world you no longer think is safe, where even the smallest things have a potential danger, like opening the mail or riding a bus. Nothing is safe anymore.

If one good thing has come of all this, it has been my ability to realize my blessings and be thankful for them everyday, to appreciate life because of how quickly it can be taken away.  The only thing I can pray for is a safer world for everyone to live in.

Eliminating terrorists brings us just one step closer.

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Current Mood: angry angry

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What food would you miss most if you were sent to prison for the rest of your life?
All of it.

I love all food.

I do not discriminate.

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Current Mood: well no i'm hungry, thanks!

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What's the best April Fool's joke you've seen today?
YouTube got me pretty good.  I though their little prank was really cute.

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Current Mood: fooled

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What recently developed technology—cell phones, wi-fi, laptops, handheld gaming devices, etc.—do you think has had the worst influence on how people behave in public?
Goodness.  

Well, to begin, I don't have a problem with laptops of wi-fi.  I mean, it's not too often that people go aroudn carrying their laptop around on the street.  Usually, they tuck themselves away in a cafe someplace, pay for their seat and a coffee, and mind their own business.  That is all good with me.

I hate cell phones.  The dreaded index finger pisses me off everytime I see it, even when it's not directed towards me.  That index finger holds up lines in all kinds of establishments.  The fact that people are willing to argue and curse on buses and trains and every other place just astonishes me.  Guess what folks, no one wants to hear your personal business!  So please, speak lower or just stfu.  Okiedokes.

Portable games are fine with me, I just dislike them because of one person.  At my sons birthday, a few people got their before my husband, our son and I arrived.  Everyone stood up and swarmed up to greet up and give us their gifts to put away, but one of the guests boyfriends stood at the table playing his Nintendo DS and failed to acknowledge my prescence.  He then proceeded to fall asleep at the table, waking only to go and eat the food, and then had to be dragged to say goodbye at the end of the party.  He himself is to blame, though.  Not the Nintendo DS.  Cuz the DS rules.

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Current Mood: bored bored

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The boogeyman, global thermonuclear war, being forced to eat broccoli—there's a lot to be afraid of when you're a kid. What was your biggest childhood fear?



I wrote a story about this once for a school project in English.  It was more or less a list of everything I'm afraid of and why.  They're pretty weird fears and even weirder reasons I guess.

Fears:
-Clowns, because they're just ugly.
-Hitler, because I read a book about the Holocaust at 10 years old and convinced that even though I'm not Jewish, he was going to come into my bedroom window and kill me.  This still haunts me.
-Pigeons, because they are ugly, dirty birds that I'm convinced carry AIDS and the Avian Flu.

Those are all I can think of, but I think it goes without saying that I'm more or less afraid of everything.  Far too many things.  I'm even afraid of the wind. =)

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Current Mood: melancholy melancholy

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Who is cuter: Bret or Jemaine?
Interesting question.  I LOVE this show. 

I am madly in love with Jemaine.  He's cuter, much more buff, and I find him a lot funnier too.  And funny guys are a turn on. 

Jemaine <3 ftw.

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